Monday, May 31, 2010
tides of change
Saturday, May 29, 2010
What a nice day
Friday, May 28, 2010
Emotionally confused
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Dream cities to live in for College
Dream cities to live in for College:
- Seattle, WA
- Santa Barbara, CA
- Boulder, CO
Monday, May 24, 2010
let's be honest
but i can keep this little glamorous fantasy alive in my mind since i've grown quite fond of it.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
MAYBE IT'S JUST ME
magic
"sometimes i can still feel the magic"
(written by me, 2009)
i feel it for only a moment at a time. my mind takes me back to a second in my life in which everything was perfect - - picturesque; movie like. the smell, the emotion. but only for a moment.
▲!☼=+▲▼+ ▲=▲☼▲!!!▲+▲!!▼!=+♦+ !☼=+▼!!☼=+▲=▼♦+▲☼▲!☼
the fog tickling the little hairs in my nose at 6 in the morning, before an early jog. the cool, humid breeze kissing the skin on my bear legs and arms in west palm beach florida. the smell of shampoo on your hair, sweet and fresh. the feeling of butterflies, fluttering in your stomach when you see the boy you like. how your heart feels as light and full as a balloon floating through the air. standing on top of a castle in italy, all of florence floating below you; hundreds of peach colored buildings so beautiful you’d swear you were inside of a painting. the smell of the asphalt after it rains. rosy cheeks, nipped by the cool autumn’s air. freshly painted nails, glossy and cherry red. staying up late with your friends when you were little, telling secrets and watching movies. the county fair at night, how the lights sparkle and twinkle below you as you soar above the world on the ferris wheel. listening to nantes by beirut at 2 in the morning, allowing the tears to stream down your face and collect at the bottom of your chin. the fog of cigarette smoke floating inside of the small cafe, candles lit abundantly, live music resonating through your whole body. there is so much magic all around me and stored in my mind, but i can’t possibly recall everything right now.
▲==▼!☼=+▲▼♦+ ☼▲!!!▲+▲!!▼!☼=+♦+▲!☼=+▼!!☼=+▼♦+▲▲☼▲!+
ITALY 1
I don't want to ever forget any of this.
RECOLLECTIONS FROM 2004
"the smell of vanilla mint toothpaste reminds me of italy in the top floor of the three story home i stayed in for two weeks, in the rural town of strangolagalli, with some close friends. that was the toothpaste i used every morning, and for some reason it has stuck with me and brings back a flood of memories, all at once. like looking out the window at the cars parked on the pebbles, and how i had a stack of little drawings of the colosseum that i’d made sitting there on the sill.
i loved how there was just miles and miles of vineyard, pure and green. in the mornings there was a blanket of thick, gray fog that sat perfectly in the little valleys, the tops of hills peeking over the blankets of cloud.
i never want to forget the small car we drove upon the stone road, to the cafe in the mornings to drink creme and enjoy pastries. both my parents, my little sister, and i, all together. there was a big pink cake shaped like a castle in the window.
then there were the afternoon walks over to the flea market and local chapel.
i recall sticking my head out of the window at night, breathing in the sweet, cool air. i would close my eyes and just breathe. i felt the wind running her fingers through my hair as chills went down my spine. then we arrived at the bar and i remember i loved the sweet smell of those clove cigarettes, and those cigarettes only.
eating pasta around the dinner table with the entire family! zia, zio, cousins, grandmother, grandfather, sisters, brothers, friends, everyone; it all seemed so unreal!
and i remember lighting short candles all in a circle around pretty little stones that i found with luca and my sister. and how the cute italian woman would pinch my cheeks with her wrinkly little hands, and poke at my dress while saying something in italian that i couldn’t understand.
it was really nice."
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Dan the man
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Contemplation
- who am i?
- what do i want in life?
- do i value my friendships?
- am i actually lonely, or am i just listless?
- how am i going to read all of the books on my list by the end of this year?
- will i ever fix my eating issues? (probably not)
- how can i better my yoga practice? (CHECK OUT BOOKS ON IT, DUH)
- will i ever allow myself to develop close relationships with people?
- will i feel better or worse once i get into college?
- is there really anything wrong, or is this just what it's like to be human?
low self-esteem
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
from shitty to fantastic
creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special.
Hello,