happy friday

I've got soy milk, blueberries, and I'm listening to Owl Eyes and Foolin' by my beloved Devendra Banhart. My new apricot candle smells so wonderful, and it's a perfect grey day today. And did I mention it's Friday? Well, you already knew that!

Also, I did well on my math test, and I brought my grade up signifigantly! I feel so good about myself for working hard to get there.

Today was simply nice.

i cannot tell a lie

In the eternal words of Washington, "I cannot tell a lie"...

I think I still have feelings for you!

And it's a little scary. Still.

dr.jekyll and mr.hyde!

It's quite interesting how some people are actually very two-faced, conceited, and careless. It actually makes me a little sad, a little disappointed, and a little bit like I wish to not associate myself with people like this. Or, well, this one person in particular. Yet I continue to talk to her because we're friends, or "friends", as we have been for so long. And the worst part is that I desire friendships and we have a few things in common, so I remain friends with her.

But why? She is so rude, so careless, and doesn't think of others! She only talks about herself, only does things for her convenience, and copies ideas from other people, claiming them as her own artistic revelations. Plus, she has multiple personalities which conflict with one another. And not to be drastic... but it's almost like she has no soul. She's so transparent. It frightens me a little, how there is no long any substance to her.

I think I should politely just slowly go my own way, if at all possible.

sometimes i really just want to pick your brain.

i wish i could just walk up to you and tell you.

i wish some day i could honestly tell you what you've meant to me.

i wish we could have coffee and lay on a blanket under the stars.

i don't even really know who you are.

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random inspirations

via unknown & the selby

melancholy

I wish I had more friends, ya know? It would be cool to be invited to things. I'm not even that sad right now, I'm just reflecting in a stupid sort of way. I feel like Holden Caulfield.

When I go on facebook and see people chatting about bike riding, cucumber sandwiches, taking photos, and listening to records together and things like that, I feel a little lump in my throat and get a little teary, because it'd be stellar to have some friends like that.

Well, for now it's just me and Bob Dylan. Right Bob? You like drinking tea with me at 1 am here in my room, right? Well, you sure don't talk much, Bob, but you're the only friend that I've got.

say no to apathy

I was going to rant about how apathetic I feel about life right now, how I feel so ugly, how I feel so overwhelmed/pointless/confused, and how this strange apathy has led me to buy some DVDs and two books off of Ebay today compulsively. But then I tried to change my situation in order to shift how I feel. I lit a candle and put on The White Album, and now I'm eating grapes.

This is life, and sometimes I feel apathetic and sometimes I feel too much. It's never one thing! I am such a shape-shifter! I've just got to keep my head up, keep moving, and not settle for being stagnant. That's when things take a downward spiral. I need to keep doing things like art, reading, spiritual expansion, and even exercise. I need to exercise more! I should start making a plan or something. I want to loose 20 pounds by september; stress free, and nonchalant. I just want to eat a little less, and exercise a little more. Real cooool. Nothing major. I've got to "be just like the Fonz. And what is the Fonz? He's cool. That's right, just be cool."

I am even in the process of making some lists; a "movies I need to watch this summer" list, a "books I need to read this summer" list, and perhaps a "people I need to write letters to" list. Never stop moving!

Remember, "If you're not getting better, you're getting worse."

xoxo

Gypsy