I am not depressed about the whole deal regarding S. I am just dealing with resurfacing emotions, with the last few flies behind the window that I hadn't noticed before, when I thought I'd killed them all. They started buzzing their ugly little bodies against the glass today, causing me to hurt myself again. I'm not even bitter or mad, I am in quite a good mood right now actually. I just wish I felt a little less impulsive sometimes... and a little more motivated to open up to people. But at least all is well mentally with me. I'd hate to be harboring negative feelings. Those do nothing but wreck havoc on the soul! I'm just feeling the normal levels of unattractiveness, ya know. Yet I am also feeling so grateful and loving for this body I have been given. Yes, I would like it to be thinner, etc., but words cannot express the love and joy I have for being alive. I feel so happy for my blessings, and I hope that one day I can use this fantastically able and healthy body to travel around and see cool mountains and beautiful trees and starry skies, untainted by city lights. I know I will. I just need to deal with one year and one month of high school, and then I'll be living on a campus somewhere... even if it's just two hours away from here, any change of scenery will be stellar. Well, I've got to go freshen up and get ready for sleeeeeep and dreeeeams and then the beeeeautiful new day tomorrow.
I really liked that video. If anyone doesn't relate to that song, they don't have a soul.
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